Happy Easter!

I am quite excited to celebrate Easter this year. We've been thinking a lot about what it means to fast, what the purpose is of the Lenten fast in particular, and how the practice of fasting shapes who we are. (For those who don't know, Jesse and I gave up meat for Lent this year.) The first week, for me, was by far the hardest. I just wanted meat. I felt drained of energy and extra-irritable. Jesse was preaching through Numbers, and we found ourselves crying out for meat along with the Israelites, complaining of the taste of the vegetarian food we were preparing, and ultimately, humbled to find ourselves in their proverbial shoes. I think I like to look at the Old Testament Jews as "the ones who didn't get it," who seemed never to make the connection between ritual and meaning, between requirements and relationships, between God's provision and their needs. And yet - there I was, too. Humbling.

Another thought on this year's Lenten fast: my devotional life. With my energy largely gone (I have much more respect for vegetarians now; it was hard work to ensure I got enough protein without relying solely on eggs!), my devotional life took a back burner to everything else. I needed more sleep, and so devotions went from 15 minutes to 10 to 5 to "I should..." without anything actually happening. It makes me think of a funny list on KLP's door at Houghton, which took Hymn titles and adapated them to be the way we tend to think of things: "Sweet [5 minutes] of Prayer". Ironic, that a Lenten discipline seemed to take me further away from where I wanted to be: identifying with Christ. Showing myself faithful while going without, just as he did.

So what's the answer: have I done an appropriate fast? If it drove me away from a devotional life for this time, is it in any way redemptive? Perhaps. I think I came face to face with my own weaknesses and humanity through Lent. While giving up meat seems to pale in comparison to the sufferings of Christ, I have a new appreciation for His faithfulness after fasting in the desert. As we celebrate Easter today, I'm setting up some new boundaries in my life to protect the devotional/prayer time. Having come face-to-face with some of the worst of myself, I have a renewed appreciation for Christ's faithfulness, and a desire to follow in His steps.

He is risen!